Invisible grief, shallow joy, and alien troubles...

Its 3 AM once again, and the news of my grandmother's death has had its impact on me and now, I don't know what happened to the grieving process.  So far, I've only cried a bit, but I don't know if I subconsciously pushed grief to the back of my head... I prefer not to talk about it this soon.  To distract me or to uplift my mood though, I watched some comedic videos on YouTube, and I've tried to think of other things.  At the moment, my happiness is lost in a sea of confusion, so hopefully I can find it in due time.  I've made some progress and some consistency with some penpals, not exact matches though, but so far I hope that they're legit people with truthful replies, no phony aliens.  Speaking of aliens, I have to read the Martian Chronicles by Bradbury and as a Sci-Fi fan, it is a pain in the ass. Its required for class so I gotta do it... I realize that this post is a bit scrambled or so, because I'm writing with sleepiness and having symptoms of drunkenness haha.  So I guess I'll pass out now, Bona Nit.