Hits/misses, long fought struggles, and shed tears... (Part 0-1)

Oh, if I could, I would make this post a very unpleasant one by bitching about things, talking about sad things, and most of all, I'm angry at one particular person that does things that by nature, just irritates me... I think I'm too angry for this right now... I'll come back later...

It's been a while--once again, time travel, and barriers...

I'm baaack... I'm guessing my return isn't that royal, cause I don't think people stop by here often.  At this moment, I'm pretty complacent and annoyed? So many things happen in the course of about 2-3 months--some pleasant, some not so... Once again, I'm gonna have to make a generalization of time passing, a summary of what's happened. Recap:  Hairspray is over, back to church again, swinging days in school, cousins are back... and almost leaving again, Cedar Point Choir field trip is tomorrow, and with some magic from an unknown source, things are going significantly better, especially with the Enemy.  If I didn't mention it here, the Enemy is... you can just find out on Twitter...or something... I'm having trouble finding the words to describe how I feel, it's very agh... lemony, yes, Lemon-y! (BTW Lemonade Mouth on Disney was a life changer...) Things are very "sour" and seemingly bright, but mostly sour because of a certain people or force I call "Barriers".  These people (mostly) and things are what's keeping me from finally finding happiness in school, they just somehow bring the past back to life, judge, hate, or just be plain evil... Sadly these people haven't always been this way, like (Codename) Traitor.  He's always been a good and hearty guy, open hearted, outgoing, humble... but something happened along the way (haha BeeGees...) and now he's a completely different person:  cocky, jerkish, high-chinned (figuratively), and just elitist--something I really can't stand about certain people, and I hope I don't become a hippocrite when I say that... Continuing with another barrier (Codename) PixieFace, she's been a threat for a looooong time now, but just recently she's attacking.  She's always been a total bitch, primadonna, ELITIST, etc... She acts like a succubus towards the Enemy and always seems to drape over him... dirty whore... Now where was I again?, well those two are the main problems at the moment, other barriers are unknowingly active, kinda like sleeper agents, but it's just the way they act... I think I just needed to vent all of that out and now I might get off, but before I leave I wanna find a solution, I always try to find a way to end a post on a good note, and this is no different... Tonight there's a (choir) guy's night out and I'm still thinking about if my presence is priority or not.  I'm saying goodbyes to my cousins tonight, and I won't be seeing them again soon.  There are things to be done, and all I can do is just, float on (thanks Modest Mouse) and see how things turn out.  Like I said on Twitter, trying to make lemonade, as fast as I can.  Lemme change that--"making lemonade, hoping it tastes great..."  Adios -E

Hairspray, impending depression, and the other journeys that lie ahead...

So with my current breakdown, I'm slipping into an apparent depression because of my sensitive sentimental heart, that is my disclaimer for any sad tone here...
Whats really keeping me empowered to type this entry is the handy dandy positive playlist, and my auxiliary hopefulness.  This has been a great theater year for PEHS, and to all of us involved within its workings.  We've all left a certain mark somewhere in this history book, and some of us get the privilege to continue making our marks... on the other hand there are those who are departing, the Seniors, who've done what they did, "and we're as proud as proud can be" (Hairspray quote), but their time has come to leave the nest... just one of the reasons why depression is sinking in...
With this mindset at hand, thinking ahead about all the other "lasts" in the future, I don't think I'll be able to make it to 20... idk, maybe its just lifelessness talking.  Nonetheless, I'm worried about how I'll react to other things in the future, I've already broken my principle of expecting the least, and now I'm disappointed...
Should I have known better than to make these certain moves? Idts, the journeys I've traveled have been better trodden than pushed aside.  All the experiences and the memories that I've taken with me have made these things all worthwhile, no matter what depression lies ahead, I can always have the guarantee that the positives will always outbalance the negatives...  And so on a final note, despite the turning point of this post, I think I'll make it through, knowing that I've gained more than I've lost.  See ya later, Baltimore, I'll miss you and your folks.  :)  always -E

right as rain, contemplation and recognition, all because of friends...

So the weekend has ended once again, and for the first time in the longest time, I actually had a great time! I'm surprised actually, but when it comes down to it, I'm thankful.  Excluding some distasteful moments of the days, I'm pretty content with what God's given me this weekend! I'm seeing things in different spectra every day, in different lights, some that fade, some that stay.  Somehow though, this contemplation and realization was brought upon by surviving a movie about one of pop's famed trannies (jff), Justin Bieber.  I'm real glad that I got to see my old but fresh buds at church; I never see them anymore due to busyness that takes over all of our everyday lives... I really do thank God for this weekend, and this very short blog post.  I'm gonna just ignore the blatancy of Valentine's day tomorrow, and live it like a Monday with things to look forward to, and keep my chin up of course :)... G'night mate (yay! remembered to have a witty ending!)  -E

Regina, Sara, or bust!...

Gonna try something new.  I'm posting these videos, of the same song and slightly different, yet still amazing, singers... tell me which version you like better, go ahead. :)  (comment below)

P.S. the original recorded version w/Regi is in the playlist on the side

hopeful hiatus, nuevo news, and not-so-last words...

abandoned:  oppressing forces on clay dolls, motivation from all over, and the abandoned to-do list...
abandoned:  parfait blogging, the curtain opens a little more, and impending emotions that have yet to be identified...

Those^ above were my abandoned posts that I left rotting for over 2 months, which is shameful... Sorry I haven't been updating for a while.  You know when life gets a little bit too hectic that you start to forget or push things aside that you think you can do without? Well I think thats what happened, and so hopefully I get things started back up again.  I don't think I'll spend too much time here though, just making it clear, until life dies down a little (which is completely uncertain) and so I'll try to put things in here like something besides words, to fill in blanks.  And so it restarts...

Welcome back to the show, the movie, the whatever... So over the end-and-beginning of the year, obviously there have been a lot of things going on, especially significant stuff, but nonetheless, the Dream stays the same and solid as a rock.  I haven't changed much (I think) except that I'm a bit more grown up, just by nature, and I'm slowly getting more control of my life, which is a good and bad thing in itself... If I start to elaborate on these details, It would take me hours or even days to finish, but If you've been in recent contact with me you'll see changes.  So I'm sorry I have to run now, but I'll leave you with a quick video.  Its of my Vegas, and its just a little snippet of what the future has to offer.  So enjoy this beer comm. : ) (P.S. you may wanna turn on closed captioning if you don't understand Español)