Changing winds, confusion, and concern

I've figured out that I only ever go here whenever I'm feeling something intense.  It's one of those nights, rare nowadays since I somehow manage to bottle it up and ship it places.  Not exactly the most healthy practice, but it keeps me sane for the most part. I only ever write on here once a year, and a lot goes on in a year.  The winds are constantly changing, that's something you pick up on as you grow older.  I'm nearing 20 now and that amazes me.  I've managed to make it this far but looking back at where I've been is bittersweet and awkward to say the least.  I won't elaborate because that would create anthologies.

Confused and concerned about what I'm doing, if I'm creating a false sense of happiness or if I'm a horrible pessimist.  I never know if what I feel is valid anymore, it's constantly confusing because of the new experiences I'm continuously put through.  I hope things correct themselves out sooner or later, I hope I get a nudge to do so.  I'm essentially upset at the moment, but trudging on and trying to figure out how to get over it.  I'll stop it at that.  Nice to be here again, I forgot how refreshing it is to write.  'Til we meet again, -e